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Listening to My Inner ‘No’: Lessons from Hustle Culture

  • Writer: Ashley Elliott
    Ashley Elliott
  • Nov 11
  • 3 min read
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When I first started working at my 9–5 job in the field of business and technology, I remember being on a project that was quite demanding at the time. During the busiest periods of the project, many people were asked to:


  • Stay late on weekdays

  • Work extended hours

  • Even work on weekends


I dreaded the idea of having to work on weekends. They were the only two days of the week I had off from work, and I didn’t want to spend that time doing my day job. I remember being asked by one of the leads to show up at the office on a Saturday morning, and I was less than thrilled. I didn’t want to let my team members down, disappoint them, or be a burden to them.

Saying Yes, When Deep Down I Was A No


So, I said yes and showed up at the office around 9 a.m. on a Saturday, working until the afternoon. But I did regret it.


I had to really push and force myself to show up at the office on a Saturday morning. Deep down, I didn’t want to be there, and I lost the opportunity to spend that time with:


  • Friends

  • Family

  • My Partner


It felt like a sense of frustration having to show up at the office on a Saturday and seeing that I was one of only a few people doing that in the building. Looking back, I can see that my experience wasn’t just about a single Saturday, it reflected larger cultural patterns in the way we work.

Hustle Culture and Our Conditioning


In particular, this moment I was experiencing reflects the cultural climate we live in within Western society. There are many cultural factors that contributed to what I was going through at the time.  Hustle culture is highly prevalent in Western society; it rewards the overextension of ourselves.


  • Showing up at the office on a Saturday morning felt like wearing a badge of honour within hustle culture. 

  • Hustle culture teaches us that our value is tied to how much we produce.


That is why I unconsciously absorbed the belief that being available to work outside regular hours demonstrated my dedication and competence. Furthermore, hustle culture is rooted in patriarchal values, beliefs, and conditioning that shape all of us in some way.

Patriarchy and Disconnecting from Our Bodies


In particular, patriarchy conditions us to disconnect from the body’s:


  • Signals of fatigue

  • Internal felt sense

  • Intuition

  • Needs


The body’s cyclical nature doesn’t fit into the linear, constant-output model of many workplaces. Showing up on a Saturday can be seen as a moment in which the external system of patriarchal work values overrode the internal system of the body’s wisdom and natural rhythms.


In patriarchal systems, where power is often perceived to reside in hierarchy and authority, many people learn early that safety and belonging come from being agreeable, accommodating, and non-disruptive.


Showing up on a Saturday, then, might not come from my authentic yes but from an unconscious survival pattern:


“If I’m available, I’ll be valued, I’ll belong, and I’ll stay safe.” 


In Western society, we are often conditioned to people-please at the expense of our own truth, prioritizing safety and survival within a patriarchal culture. Patriarchy conditions many of us, particularly women, to silence our inner ‘no’ to avoid being labeled difficult, emotional, or unreliable.

The Lesson: Listening to My "No"


Looking back, the biggest lesson I learned from that experience was recognizing what my “no” felt like in my body and what overriding it looked and felt like.


I also became aware of:


  • My unconscious survival patterns

  • How my inner people-pleaser and the culture I live in influenced me


For me, my body’s “no” feels like pushing through, feeling frustrated, and forcing myself to show up for circumstances or people when, deep down, I do not want to.


The most important takeaway from this experience was learning to bring more attention and awareness to my internal feelings so I could begin the journey of reclaiming:


  • My boundaries

  • Time for rest

Invitation to Reclaim Your Own Rhythm


If this reflection resonated, and you’re longing to live from ease, truth, and embodied presence, I invite you to join me for a Discovery Call for my signature coaching journey:


Coming Home to the Body: Reclaiming Aliveness Beyond Productivity and Achievement.


Together, we can liberate beliefs of over-extending and rediscover the rhythm of your own aliveness.

 
 
 

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